twenty one questions

I opened up my email today and found this there...and I didn't recognize the email address?  But this looked like fun because I'm a sucker for these. So here we go. 

1. Most comforting place, smell, sound and memory? 
Place: my room/the woods
Smell: coffee/the earth after it rains
Sound: good jams...but in terms of comforting, something Mew/Bon Iver/old Coldplay will do 
Memory: anything during the holidays. food+family is so comforting

2. Your ambitions as a child and your ambitions now
As a child: First, astronaut, then teacher
Now: No idea cause there is so much I wanna do. But it involves music/charity work/loving people/traveling/writing/loving Jesus

3. Biggest fear
Well, I'm terrified of heights. And another fear far too personal to speak of.

4. Qualities you would like in a partner (if you would like one)
Be musically inclined, be adventurous, love to travel, love people and invest in them, and most importantly, love Jesus with all your heart and soul. Like, someone who loves Jesus and everything about their life reflects it. Oh, and be willing to have a Star Wars marathon with me on command, because duh. 

5. Traits you couldn’t put up with in a partner (if you would like one)
Guys with bad hygiene (like, you can't be trying to look good or whatever and have breath that could kill a horse), passive aggressiveness, impatience, and theres a ton. Oh, and don't be dumb. Have intelligence please.

6. What is the worst thing you have done to another person? (Let them down, lied, faked love etc)
I called someone something I shouldn't have and we didn't talk for a year. We made up later, but this friend passed away a few years back and I have regretted it more than anything because that was time with them I missed out on because of my stupidity.

7. What are your worst traits and features?
I'm really stubborn..I hate my teeth but not enough to drop 6k to fix them..

8. What are your best traits and features?
As much as I talk, I'm a really good listener. And I looooove my hair. Sorry not sorry.

9. How would you explain your idea of ‘true love’?
Christ has to be at the center for it, for he is love after all, and that's all I can really say since I've never felt in such a way...but I'm guessing it will be a gut feeling..?

10. The biggest mistake you’ve made.
Not done things sooner/better. Risk things and the payoff is huge.

11. Are you rational or more emotional?
Definitely emotional. I'm a feeler, and I love to feel things to the depths of my soul...things always make me cry or feel euphoric. But I am rational when necessary. We all need that balance of head and heart.

12. Do you think you’re very conscious of the feelings of others or more self oriented?
Without trying to sound like a saint or whatever I'm super conscious of others' feelings.. I can tell if you're alright or not without you uttering a word, and I'm always doubting myself if I'm doing enough to make sure the other person is happy. But people matter to me, and yes, I will go out of my way to put a smile on your face. I'm slowly learning that this life really loses meaning when it's about me.

13. Greatest achievement personally.
Moving to New York City. I was so young, and so scared, and I made a ton of mistakes but it was the best thing I had ever done. One day I will be back hopefully...

14. If you struggle to sleep at night, what do you do to try and soothe yourself to sleep?
HAHA I struggle so much at night...most nights I don't fall asleep til like, 3ish. My mind just goes into overdrive after midnight and I love having the world to myself so I will pick up my guitar, or play a chord progression on my keyboard in about 34 different sounds, and I will read, and write, sometimes I will watercolor, sometimes I will craft...sit on youtube..and I let myself be inspired. Eventually my eyes are like, stahp, so I sleep. Yeah... 

15. What irritates you most about society?
Don't even get me started. But the #1 will definitely have to be intolerance. They may not look, think, dress, live like you, but just let them be. Be occupied enough with your own life that the differences of others don't bother you for crying out loud.

16. When you compliment someone, what do you tend to focus on? (Looks, intelligence, personality…)
Depends on the person or occasion. If we're good friends, then I'll compliment your killer taste in music or film, but if we just met, then I'll probably just tell you that that dress looks cute on you.

17. Think of your oldest friend. If you met them now do you think you would still become friends?
Of course. Nothing has changed a bit except for distance. 

18. Something you love to do, but feel guilty about after/during?
I suffer from several digestive problems...so eating. Because I LOVE FOOD SO MUCH, but I know there are something I just shouldn't eat if I don't want to send myself into misery, but it's yummy so I eat it anyways.

19. Would you like children in the future. If so why?
Yes, because I hear it is such a life changing, monumental thing that is so hard, but so rewarding. Life is such a miracle! And I've always had strong maternal instincts.
And no. I am terrified of bringing a human being into the world in its current conditions...what if I'm not a good enough parent? How will I know if I'm doing good and not harm to them with how I parent them? Will they love me back?
Oh and I would LOVE to adopt. Like, its a must for me. Need money though!

20. Favorite bands/films? 
OH BOY!
Bands: The National, Local Natives, Coldplay, Mew, Switchfoot, Bon Iver, The Beatles, Washed Out, Paper Route, Arcade Fire, Nada Surf, Sigur Ros, Florence + The Machine, to name a few....(there are 576 different artists in my iTunes library)
Films: Star Wars!! The Avengers, Les Miserables, Submarine, Pulp Fiction, Gladiator, Moonrise Kingdom, Mean Girls, Tree of Life, Schindler's List, Argo, Forrest Gump, Finding Nemo, and most all political/social commentary documentaries.


21. How do you manage your finances? What do you normally spend it on? 
I refuse to get a credit card or take a loan out because I just can't spend money I don't have...make the best of what you do have, and live within your means. It really isn't that hard. And most of my money goes to food....and the rest to traveling/books/music/etc. I used to spend most of it on clothes but clothes isn't as satisfying.