bridges.

It's 3 am, pretty insomniatic, drinking entirely too much coffee in attempts to trek through this assignment. I should be asleep right now. But I'm not...and out of this another of my late night rants is born. 

The other day I was listening to Hillsong's "All I Need is You" while on the Q train which gives you this beautiful view of the city since it goes over the bridge between BK and the city...that was irrelevant information. Anyways. The song says: 

"All I need is You...all I need is you, Lord. 

....You hold the universe; you hold everyone on earth."

These past couple weeks in New York have been [insert adjective for hooray and surprising and stressing here]. I just don't know. I am in awe and in a total lack of words at God's grace and goodness towards me...like honestly, why do I deserve any of this? It's pretty mindblowing when I think about the fact that the very God who spoke all of this into being- the Almighty, the God who oversees it all, has the time in his massive agenda to take care of the needs of an individual like myself. I am completely humbled by just how great His love for me is...and I can boast about his love for me because it is unfailing. My love for Him on the other hand...it fails sometimes. 

I really have been thinking lately about how if I think about it, He really is all I need. It's funny because living in New York there is a constant puppet show of the material and "satisfying" dangling in your face- there is always a new sweater to buy, a good dinner, a good show, a good time, or anything your flesh desires all available to you at the price of some cold, hard, cash. AHAH and get this! You can get all these things, and at the end of the day, it all comes back to bite you, kinda, except not really, because it's all temporary and so fleeting. It's so empty. And I always find that God is sufficient. That what he offers us is forever, and completely free. That his love is enough to cover all our needs, to heal our loneliness and heartache, to set our souls completely free from all of these earthly things. Isn't it ironic how mankind tries to free themselves by the very things that end up enslaving them? And how mankind looks for satisfaction via the temporary? I honestly don't know where I'm going with this blog post. I just want and really hunger for something more than cash can buy. I long for something bigger than myself and this system. I long for the bridge I can't burn down. 

Maybe I need to sleep.